Help Me Find Myself, Heero
by Michieru
Summary: Duo's been unconcious for 3 nights. He awakens to find himself in the presence of Heero's apartment... But something's missing, something had been altered by the incident 3 nights ago and they can both sense it. Eventual 1 and 2.
1. Default Chapter

I plan for this story to have at least 3 chapters. I hope you like it cause I stayed up til 1 AM creating it since I got inspired at 10 PM and I had needed to plan out the whole thing   
  
Have fun reading I hope you review and tell me what you think of it.  
  
Note: I don't own any of the characters, though I wish I did. =D  
  
----  
  
A blue-eyed perfect solider sat facing an occupied bed. His elbow created a juncture into the cloth-covered surface of the bed as his head rested its weight against his palms. Although it was night, the dreary moon seemed to amplify the atmosphere with both light and intensity. The moonlight lingered past the single, tiny window and bounced off of Heero's face, revealing his unrest feelings.  
  
Heero cursed under his breath as his patience was wearing thin and because his face was betraying the lingering feeling that coursed within his body and heart. He felt weak and angry that his usual impassive shell had been destroyed; it was as if someone or something had purposely stolen the one thing that made him feel superior of others. He felt like hurting the unconscious body that lay before him. The body, that currently laid pale and idle before him, belonged to a violet-eyed boy, named Duo. He was the reason that these foreign feelings were haunting him.  
  
"Open those violet-colored eyes!" Heero shouted into the empty room, winching at his own echo. _When had I noticed such a tedious thing like the color of a person's eyes, especially when they belong to such an insignificant person like him?_ The thought quickly disappeared as he stared at Duo, expecting his eyes to awaken such a loud call from Heero.  
  
The night continued and like the past 2 nights since the incident, Duo remained unconscious. After staying by Duo's side until midnight, Heero would retreat to the couch across from the bed. The one-bed roomed slum was all Heero could afford with the measly wages he earned as a waiter.  
  
----  
  
In his dream state, Heero could feel himself being gently tugged back and forth as if he was a guest on a boat. The dream slowly faded as he realized someone was shaking him. Slowly opening his eyes, he could see a silhouette hovering above him. Reacheing a hand up to cover his face from the sun that streamed through the window, the tricks played by light disappeared and his vision became clear again.  
  
"Um... Hi," Duo said hesitantly. He was squatting before Heero wearing a long sleeved white shirt and black pants.  
  
The instant he spoke, Heero could sense that there was something different. Sure his tone was as placid as usual, but something was missing.  
  
Heero didn't reply, he only looked back at Duo, searching for something that felt misplaced. After a few moments of silence, Duo blushed and startled Heero. "What?" Heero asked; his voice was a lot more offensive than he had wanted to sound.  
  
"It's just that... you were staring at me..." The rosy spots on either side of Duo's cheek deepened as he manage to keep his voice straight as he spoke.  
  
Heero ignored the reply like he always had when someone became embarrassed. Having been naturally stern, he had never understood when someone's cheeks reddened and their words became a mere stutter. "Your braid's uneven, I'll braid it for you," Heero said without hesitation, without the usual lump in the throat when couples would make such an endearing comment. Duo looked as confused as ever; he didn't know whether to be offended or thankful.  
  
As Heero sat up and turned his body so that his feet were on the floor, Duo took the hint to sit down and entrust his hair to Heero.  
  
Reaching his left hand out, Heero grasped tightly to the end of Duo's braid, just before the elastic band that held his braid together. Using his other hand, he gently placed a finger under the band. He watched as locks of smooth brown hair unravel as he removed the band. For reasons unknown to Heero, a brush felt unnecessary as he ran his fingers through Duo's long strands of hair. Time seemed to have stopped for the two, even though the continuous motion of Heero's fingers continued to weave through Duo's hair. Soon, Heero stopped and divided the brown strands into 3 different portions and began braiding. All this was done in mutual silence, as if nature intended it to be so and the 2 boys dared not betray it.  
  
Once Heero had tied the elastic band back on, he got up and went into the restroom, leaving Duo behind on the couching, who was uncertain as to what he should do now.  
  
Sounds of running water and movements within the bathroom could be heard as Duo sat listening and eyeing the room. It was a plain room, with nothing but the couch he was sitting on, an unmade bed, and a chair next to the bed. Scanning the room once again, he noticed the corner of an old, small, wooden drawer on the other side of the bed that he had overlooked earlier. Hesitantly, he got up and walked over to it and without thinking, began looking through the drawers, searching for something that was currently unknown to him. In the last of 3 drawers, he small a few portraits and began looking at them. The pictures were all normal, scenery, pictures of Heero and friends, but the last one caught his attention. It was a picture of Duo, with his arms wrapped around an impassive Heero, a natural grin on his own face. He quickly shoved them back as he realized the bathroom had become silent and a shadow was hovering above him.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go into your stuff..." Duo's voice trailed off as he realized Heero was half-listening.  
  
----  
  
The two had sat themselves at a table slightly isolated from the rest. Despite the time of day it was in, the cafe was crowded and waiters and waitresses were trying their best to control the havoc of getting everyone's order. There was a certain air of uneasiness as Duo sat across from Heero. Heero appeared cold, yet warm in a way to Duo. Somehow he wasn't intimidated by Heero's certain apathetic feelings towards anything less than serious, but he also knew where to draw the line. After a not so successful joke of 'Is this a date?' when Heero had offered to buy them breakfast, Duo decided he was better off not asking the real question he had in his mind.  
  
Without realizing, Duo snapped back to reality, welcomed by another one of 'what?' stares by Heero. Duo swallowed the lump he had not realized in his throat and shook his head.  
  
"If you want to say something, say it," Heero said coolly.  
  
Duo's face turned bright red again. He knew he was going to regret asking the question once he said it. He took a sip of coffee from his cup and asked with a serious look on his face, though humored by the embarrassment on his face, "Am I gay?"  
  
I had to stop it at that so you guys would come back for the next chapter D :P Review and you'll be loved!  



	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took so long (actually it didn't take that long), but I wrote pretty much 3 different versions of chapter 2 and I wasn't satisfied with either the first or second, although if you'd like to read the second, you can find it here: geocities[DOT]com[SLASH]starlight[UNDERSCORE]m3[SLASH]whoareyou2[DOT]txt (Sorry, I had to write it that way since ff.net doesn't allow URLs. Replace [DOT] with a . and replace [SLASH] with a / and [UNDERSCORE] with the ShiftDash (next to the #0)) The first and second were just variation of the same thing, but I liked the second one more I didn't like it because 1) it reminded me more of Shuichi and Eiri's relationship (from Gravitation). Also I thought it was just 2) a filler chapter if I used that 3) There wasn't much of a plot progression, rather I just complicated matters since there was something wrong with Heero 4) I wasn't able to describe how Heero felt, I should be able to, I can't just have a footnote everywhere I feel like it (refer to the [1]) 5) I don't think Heero would just say 'amnesia'. First I tried 'You didn't expect me to know?' But then I'm like 'Heero's always sure of himself, and besides, why would he say something stupid like that. 6) And what's up with ice cream after a trauma? XD  
  
Also, I got a SURPRISE for you all =D I drew something for my reviewers! seqrred[DOT]net[SLASH]duo2[DOT]gif (Had to do it again) --Isn't he the sex? ::Licks lips:: He's so YUMMY   
  
I have a lot more to say, but I didn't want to delay the story that much, so I'll skip right to my review comments!  
  
Hazel-Beka: Hazel: Nyehehe, you're not the only one with a twisted mind o-o Beka: You'll just have to find out D surreptitious smile BWAHAHAHA XD  
YukinaKagomeSerena: Thanks!   
Mistuko Saru: Cause I'm evil like that D  
Fishstix: :O I luffers you too! snuggle huggle!! Hehe, he did Go you!  
Death-Angel42: I know he is, ain't he? :O  
tarigarma: I wont! Slash's honor... o-o  
chichi5:Thanks!   
BrainDrama: Thankies :D I look forward to reading it too. WRITE YOURSELF YOU STUPID STORY looks around Um... hides  
Demonskid: "ok? good" Are you demanding me? D Huh? You ebil little kid. o-o ...Thanks for your comment   
Marine: I love you too! o-o  
Amy: Bess no make Amy wait. Bess wants boat go choochoo! Gogo! XD (I'm not mocking her btw, we're friends o-o)  
  
rumplestiltskin: Hehe, thanks   
Dai Sugoi: Yeapyeap! You're absolutely correct!  
dreaming sparkle: Thankies   
GoldenWings: I will! =D  
  
And I promise I'll read some of you reviewer's stories if I know the Anime ;; Alot of you have YGO ffs and I've never really got into that XD  
  
---  
  
Duo sat apprehensively in silence, waiting for a response. The expression on Heero's face was unreadable as he held his cup still and rested against his lips. Incomprehensible voices drifting around them seemed to have drowned time as the two sat motionless. Finally, Heero took a sip from his coffee and set it down. "If that's who you are," Heero said with a simple, apathetic tone.  
  
Those simple words crushed Duo's spirits. The apathy in Heero's voice instantly changed Duo's mood; the positive atmosphere that constantly surrounded Duo was replaced with a somber one. The embarrassment on his face disappeared the moment the words had hit him. Anger was rushing through him as he gripped the handle of the cup tightly with a shaking hand. "That's just it, Heero! I don't know who I am!" Duo shouted as he stood up, slamming the cup down onto the table and stirring the others around him, including Heero.  
  
Heero expected Duo to apologize as it was in his nature to do so, but this time Duo only snickered and sat back down. By now everyone had directed their attention toward Duo's table, staring in confusion. The uncomfortable atmosphere lingered in the air until Heero broke the silence when he called for the check. Slowly, the cafe regained its usual activity and the occupants continued their conversations.  
  
---  
  
It was now after the incident in the cafe, and Duo had suggested to go somewhere peaceful. Heero had obliged and lead Duo to a forgotten trail coursing its way into a forest. They had been walking in silence for nearly 20 minutes before they finally reached a stop at a river, as if it was purposely hidden there to preserve itself from machinery. Near the bank of the river was a large bolder with a flat surface for them to sit on. Golden rays from the sun danced before them as the leaves of the trees above them swayed in content. The two sat watching the river flow in a perfect ambience as the wind gently kissed the water. The faint sound of the rushing water made the place almost seem surreal.  
  
"There's something that I want to know; something I want to remember, Heero. The question 'Who was I?' keeps ringing in my head... but I don't care to know what happened, what I've done or where I from, nothing like that. I just feel like there's something I need to discover," Duo thought out loud, his eyes never leaving the animated waters; for some reason, he wanted Heero to hear. "So... If it's okay with you, I'd like to stay with you until I find myself... I can sleep on the couch if you want; it doesn't matter to me."  
  
Heero closed his eyes as he laid himself flat against the stone. "You're welcomed to stay as long as you want. There's no other place for us anyways."  
  
---  
  
A drop of water splashed onto Duo's cheeks, stirring him awake. "Heero...?" Duo asked opening his eyes. Another drop of rain and he closed his eyes again; it had hit too close to his eyes. Tiny beads of water continued to fall from the sky, and the ones that hit Duo made him shiver. Sitting up, he shielded his eyes from the rain with his hand and realized that he was alone. The forest had dimmed and the sky was grey from above the trees.  
  
There was something wrong with his legs; when he tried to stand, his knees numbed and he fell against the cool surface of the earth. His bangs were becoming soaked as more water hit him. He felt himself loose control as his eyes became bleary and his vision tainted.  
  
Heero's figure suddenly appeared a few paces before Duo. There was a haunting look on Heero's face as he smiled down at the vulnerable person before him.  
  
"Heero, don't look at me like that!" Duo shouted as he shut his eyes and covered head. He felt cold, so very cold. _Is it you Heero? Are you trying to freeze me to death?_ "Stop it! Why must you always be so cold?!" Duo shouted as strong hands began shaking him.  
  
"Duo!" The call sounded far away, yet the voice was recognizable. More water, so much water to drown in.  
  
Slowly raising a shaky hand to his eyes, he willed himself to open them. He saw Heero, who was soaking wet, staring down at him, dripping with rain. He realized that he was no longer crouched against the earth, but rather lying back against the stone's surface. "Hee-ro..." Duo whispered in a croak. It wasn't until he felt his lips shaking as he spoke that he realized he was shivering and completely, deathly cold.  
  
"Hang on, Duo!" Heero shouted against the pouring rain.  
  
---  
  
Somehow, Heero had carried Duo's heavy body through deep forest and the downpour definitely didn't help. He felt guilty; it hadn't even been 24 hours and he had already landed Duo back in bed. The cover was warmly wrapped around Duo's feverish body and a cool wet cloth was spread against his forehead.  
  
Heero sat once again next to the bed. Slowly he reached his hand towards Duo's and squeezed it. He stared down at Duo, whose lips had just managed to loosen its deathly purple color. His gaze traveled over Duo's face and to those long brown locks of hair that was connected to it. Without thinking, he carefully drew the long brain towards him and took off the elastic band. Slowly and carefully, he began unbraiding; weaving his finger carefully between the folds and loosening them. Every once in awhile, he would comb the unbraided parts of Duo's hair with his fingers. Even though he had took his time, it seemed that he was done in a matter of seconds when it really had been an half an hour. He stared at his completed work. The long locks of hair were now spread across the right side of Duo. The perfect color of brown was set before Heero's eyes and he had an urge to grab it, to lay it against his cheek just to feel how real they were.  
  
---  
  
Meep, I can't wait until I reveal the ending, it's just... Haha, I can't tell you You'll just have to wait! Review, ne, ne? =D  



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